Chapter 7

Everyone but Monica and Roger got a sword. This was because Zacharias apparently had other plans for Monica, and Roger was quite taken with his new whip. "Other plans." Ooh. Sounds sinister."

"Those poor workers," Lasa said. "They have to work on New Year's Eve."

"They get off early," Erion said. "Be quiet. We're on a stakeout here."

It was late afternoon, and the two of them and Joseph had been assigned to the extensive library of the Education Guildhall. They were meant to find out something about computers, but didn't dare ask anyone where the computer section was, for fear of being remembered.

Finally, a harassed-looking young man hurried up to the librarian working at the desk. "Someone rearranged the card catalogue," he said miserably. "I can't find those old books about manufacturing keyboards. I know we have a few. We have to start work on the keyboard today or else we'll never be done in time - "

The librarian, an elderly man who looked as if he should have died several years previously, carefully stood and limped over to the card catalogue. Though it took an agonizingly long time, and the desperate worker looked as though he might faint, eventually the librarian found the proper card and pointed the young man in the proper direction. Lasa followed him across the library, leaving Joseph and Erion to ensure that the librarian didn't die on the way back to the desk.

The worker found his book almost immediately and nearly ran into Lasa on his way back. "Sorry," he muttered. He saw her! Gasp! FUTURE IMPORTANCE! Or not.

"It's all right," she said, and continued on to look at the books near the one he had taken.

None of them seemed very useful; they were old computer manuals for the most part, and she had no idea what they were talking about.

Finally, she found a diagram which seemed to indicate that "motherboards" were very difficult to manufacture without machines. "Okay," she whispered. "That's what we're after."

Without a motherboard, the computer would never work, and it would take months, even years to build a new one. Time enough to find some way to get rid of the weapon itself.

She returned to Erion and Joseph, who were engaged in conversation. Lasa crept up behind them and eavesdropped.

"I swear he's not breathing anymore," Erion whispered, peering at the librarian suspiciously.

"He is so, I can see his chest moving."

"It's not moving. He hasn't moved in ages."

"Yes, he has. He blinked five minutes ago."

"Joseph, he's dead. Should we call an ambulance?" Gasp! CARS!

"He isn't dead, you idiot."

Erion glared at Joseph, then smiled brightly. "Well, I'll throw God at him and we'll see if he reacts."

"You'll never get G - that thing back. Ysranna will kill you."

"Erion," Lasa whispered. "I read the book, I know what we need, and he's still alive."

Lasa and Joseph were forced to drag their friend from the library, since he continued to insist that it was wrong to leave a dead man lying around.

* * *

December 31 dawned cold and clear. Most of the companions fidgeted, complained, and panicked, though Zacharias and Monica stayed calm.

It was eleven-thirty when they left the hotel. Monica broke away from them and disappeared around a corner, off to do whatever job Zacharias had charged her with. He hadn't told anyone else his plans for her, Feel the sinister! but insisted that it was very important in the grand scheme of things.

It was the work of a few seconds to unlock the back door and slip in. There was a service elevator nearby; Lasa pushed the "up" button and waited.

"You know," Zacharias said, "I think I'll take the stairs."

"We don't have time to take the stairs," Lasa hissed.

It took the combined efforts of all seven to drag the spy onto the elevator, and even then he closed his eyes and refused to look around until they stepped out onto the fifteenth floor. Is this a glass elevator or something?

"Okay," he said finally. "You're probably wondering how eight armed people can be stealthy."

"Yes, rather," Joseph said.

Zacharias smirked. "You see, my dear acquaintances, the only people entering that computer room will be Lasa, Alex, and I. The rest of you are backup in case we're discovered. You can hide in the stairwell, and if one of us says 'a frog named God' very loudly, you'll know to jump out, pointy objects held forth."

"Why do you have to call them pointy objects?" Joseph moaned.

"Because it annoys you. Why else?"

They descended the stairs to the thirteenth floor and huddled behind the door, waiting as two guards passed by. After the third turned the corner, Zacharias pushed the door open and stepped into the corridor, followed by Lasa and Alex.

There were six locks on the door. Zacharias got two of them open, then stopped working.

"We have less than two minutes," Lasa whispered frantically.

"Wait."

"Zacharias!"

"Wait."

* * *

The clerk at the front desk of the Education Guildhall barely glanced up when a young blonde woman walked in. People frequently came to use the library on holidays, though why they did was anyone's guess.

The blonde walked up to the clerk, smiling. "Like, hi!" she said. "Like, I'm having a party tonight, and I need a fire extinguisher, because, you know, boys will be boys, smoking all the time, and I think it's, like, the most disgusting habit ever!"

The clerk sighed heavily. "Miss, this is a Guildhall, not a store. I suggest you check somewhere else."

The blonde looked vacant. "Well, do you know where the Guildhall's fire extinguishers are?"

"No, I don't, now would you please...oh..."

"Because," the blonde said, grinning maniacally and holding a gun to the clerk's temple, "I'd really like a fire extinguisher..."

* * *

The lights began to flash on and off.

"Thank you, Monica," Zacharias breathed. "I thought for a minute she wouldn't be able to do it."

"Do what?" Alex asked.

"Hold someone at gunpoint." Zacharias sighed. "I really wish I had a life where saying that wasn't normal. Anyway, that's the signal for the guards to run off and help. Incidentally, we'll have to break your fiancée out of jail tonight, Alex..."

Alex shot Lasa a pleading look. "Please, please may I kill him?"

Zacharias easily opened the remaining locks and pushed the door open.

The three of them immediately found themselves staring into a rifle pointed with deadly accuracy at Zacharias' heart.

"Apparently," the pale man holding the gun said, "you thought that walking into this room in broad daylight would be easy."

"See," Lasa muttered. "We told you we should've gone at night."

* * *

As soon as someone panicked and pushed the button to call all of the guards, Monica tucked the gun away.

"Oh, well," she said amiably. "I suppose I don't really need that fire extinguisher."

The clerk squeaked and hid under the desk.

As the first guards began to pour into the room, Monica ran for the exit, seriously hoping that they wouldn't decide to shoot at her.

* * *

Meanwhile, the five hidden in the stairwell were utterly bored.

"I'm thinking of something that begins with C," Joseph said dully.

"Ceiling," Ysranna mumbled.

"However did you know?"

"Because you've been staring at it for awhile now."

Roger was the only alert member of the backup team. "What do you suppose is going on? They should have been back by now."

"I say we spring out and hit anything that moves," Shem suggested.

"Mm...no."

* * *

Zacharias, Lasa, and Alex stepped into the computer room very carefully when the man indicated with his gun that they should do so. Aside from him, the only other resident of the room was a small girl, her brown curls caught up in messy pigtails. The computer stood in the center of the room, quite a bit larger than any of them and surrounded by wire and metal of all sorts.

"Some people just don't understand the way the world works," the girl said sadly. "Isn't that right, Daddy?" "Isn't that right?" just does not sound like something an 8-year-old would say. Even a gifted one.

Alex cleared his throat. "Hello, I'm Alexander Taylor, this is my sister Lasalle and her so-called friend Zacharias Mathari. We're from - "

"Okay," the man snapped, "no introductions. I'm not interested."

"Oh, come on," Alex wheedled. "We can all be friends here."

The little girl spoke before her father could. "I'm Quintessa Nickel, and my daddy's name is Percy. We're building this computer and we know you've broken in to stop us."

"We haven't," Alex told her. "We just wanted a sneak peek. I mean, there are seven months left until it's revealed, and it's so exciting..."

While her brother continued to ramble on, Lasa chanced a glance at Zacharias. He was smiling for no apparent reason.

Trust him.

He betrayed you.

Trust him anyway.

Lasa gave up on debating the point with herself, and took a step forward, trying to ignore the rifle. "Quintessa," she said, "please can we just take a look? Then we'll leave and never bother you again."

"I'm not stupid," the child said petulantly. "You adults all think I'm stupid. I'm not."

While Percy was distracted by the intruder's chat with his daughter, Alex took advantage of the moment and moved to push the rifle to the side, so that it pointed harmlessly at the wall. "Please, Mr. Nickel. We're not bad people, just interested."

Percy's eyes snapped back to Alex, and he shook the man's hand off the rifle, though he made no move to train it on them again. "I can't let you see it," he said. "And I do not trust you. But I suppose I can see my way to letting you get out of here before the guards return."

"You know what's fun?" Zacharias said. "God's fun. I rather like God."

Before anyone could react, the spy reached into his pocket, withdrew the stuffed frog, and threw it at Quintessa.

She reached up to catch it as Lasa dove behind the computer, fiddling with the wires. The motherboard would be inside, so if she removed this panel...

"It's a bomb!" Percy cried. "Don't move, Quinn!"

Alex took the opportunity to jerk the rifle away and point it at Percy.

Zacharias smirked. "Of course it's not a bomb. I wouldn't dream of hurting either of you. Las, you got it?"

"Not yet," Lasa called. "Is there a screwdriver over - oh, here's one, never mind. I'd just like to point out that if I can't call you Zac, there is no way you can call me Las. That name is reserved for brothers and dear friends."

"What, I'm not a dear friend? After you kissed me?"

"I - what - I did not!"

"Lasa," Alex pleaded, "I have a gun, please, please can I kill him?"

Lasa popped up, the motherboard in her hand. "Okay, got it, we can go."

"You'll never make it out of the building," Percy snarled. "There are guards - "

"Right, sure, buh-bye."

* * *

The door to the stairwell banged open, and Zacharias threw the frog named God at Ysranna. "I never, never want to see that thing again," he said bitterly. "Let's go. Now. Like, run."

They obediently turned and dashed up the stairs. Alex pulled the door shut, and the sound clanged hollowly.

Roger reached the elevator shaft first and hit the "down" button. "Hurry up," he said. "Are there guards coming?"

"Not...as such..." Lasa said. "Just a very angry father once he gets the door unlocked...stop it, Quinn, I don't like that..."

The others, who had been a bit preoccupied, turned and stared at the little girl, who was clinging with a death grip to Lasa's leg. "Give it back!" she wailed. "And you cannot call me Quinn!"

"It started with the frog," Zacharias said sadly. "In an attempt to get rid of it, I threw it at her. And what does she do? She follows us. How? Her father is going to kill us."

The elevator arrived, and they piled in, though Lasa had to drag Zacharias aboard. "Quintessa!" she yelled. "Get off me, I'm not giving it back and this is like kidnapping!"

"I am going to follow you until you give it back!" the little girl howled. "It's ours, we need it, I hate you!"

Ysranna had the presence of mind to clap a hand over Quintessa's mouth, though she required Shem's help to drag the little girl off the elevator when they reached the bottom floor. They let go and allowed the child to back away, her eyes snapping with anger.

"I'm gonna follow you," she said in a normal tone of voice. "And when you give it back, I'll leave. But until then you're responsible for me and if you hurt me, the peacemen will get you."

They all exchanged helpless glances. "Are we stuck with her?" Erion asked morosely.

"I think we might be," Joseph said.

"We so don't need this," Ysranna moaned. "Isn't it bad enough that the entire Espionage Guild is out for our blood?"

"Not your blood," Zacharias reminded her. "Mine. They'd really rather just relocate you."

Quintessa began to look a bit nervous, but followed them back to the hotel nonetheless.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Monica said, pacing the floor. "She's the daughter of one of the top engineers building the computer."

"Yes."

"There is no hope of getting rid of her unless we give back the part."

"Yes."

"Which we can't do."

"Of course."

"So, in effect, aside from being on the run from almost certain death, we are now stuck babysitting for an eight-year-old geek?"

"I'm not a geek," Quintessa whined. "And I want some explanations. I want them now."

Monica sighed. "I'll talk to her."

Alex laughed. "You? Monica, YOU TRIED TO SLIP ONE PAST ME! BUT I FIXED IT! HAHAHAHA! I never even suspected that you would volunteer your services. What makes you think you can handle a kid like that?"

Monica gave him a withering look. "Because I know better than to actually treat her like a kid."

Quintessa was sitting on the edge of the bed in Monica's and Alex's room. The others had left to buy food, leaving the engaged couple to watch the little girl. She drummed her heels against the side of the bed and stared at them with wide, dark eyes.

Monica sat down beside Quintessa. "Hey. I'm Monica Erinns."

"I'm Quintessa Nickel and my father is Percy Nickel and my mom is also named Quintessa and she's in commerce."

"Really? My dad's a lawyer, and Mom...well, I have no idea what my mother does." Monica stared at the wall. "Huh. I never thought about it before."

Quintessa turned her gaze on Monica. "What do you do?"

"I'm an actress. Don't you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. What about you?"

"I had a kid brother once, but he died."

"That's sad. Why'd you break our computer?"

"I was waiting for you to ask that." Monica fells backwards on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "See, the nine of us are on a Holy Quest to destroy the Weapon of the Apocalypse."

"Really?"

"Well, a bit."

Alex snickered. "I wouldn't call it a Holy Quest, Monica HERE IT WAS AGAIN.. Hey, don't forget to tell her about the giant evil hawks. Oh, and the various guilds that are out to kill us."

"People are trying to kill you?" Quintessa asked nervously.

"God, yes. Let's see, the entire Espionage Guild is scouring the country for us, our various trades have put out wanted notices, and did I mention that I personally feel that Zacharias has a death wish?"

Monica groaned. "Now what has he done?"

"Well, the rumors are unproven, but he said that he kissed my baby sister. I'm waiting until she's not with him so that she can't stop me from murdering that little...er...evil person."

"And what's the Weapon of the Apocalypse?" Quintessa asked.

"Evil nuclear weapon that will detonate and kill us all if you turn your precious computer on," Monica answered. "That's it, right? No one properly explained that to me."

Quintessa sighed. "Well, maybe I don't believe you. But anyway, where are we going next?"

Monica and Alex exchanged glances. "It's not really up to us," Monica finally said. "This is Lasa's sacred quest. But I personally feel that the last place anyone would look for us would be at a temple in Florida."

"Florida," Alex said flatly.

"Yeah. Ysranna was telling me how she and Joseph were meant to go there for a mission trip. Well, they'll be a few months late, but so what?"

"Florida."

"I want to go to Florida," Quintessa said.

"Well, we'll bring it up when the others get back with dinner."

"Goodie." Quintessa stared at Monica, then added, "And you can call me Quinn."

"Sure."

"But no one else can."

"All right."

"Not even your husband."

"We're not married yet, Quinn."

"Are you going to get married at the temple in Florida?"

Monica held her fingers up in a cross pattern. "Back, evil spawn! We are not discussing that! We are deeply, deeply in denial of our engagement leading to marriage."

"You are a mean, mean woman," Alex said.

Quinn giggled. "You're funny. I like you. Maybe I won't tell everyone that you kidnapped me."

"Oh, you should definitely not tell them that," Monica said. "I mean, it's an utter, utter lie. If anything, you kidnapped us."

* * *

It came as a bit of a shock to the others that Quintessa had been reduced to an almost normal eight-year-old. She had rapidly bonded with Alex, and tentatively gave him nicknaming authority. Awkward tense change in that last sentence. The reason she wasn't acting completely normal was that, rather than playing "Go Fish" like an ordinary child, she was teaching Alex to play chess with a travel-sized set bought from the gift shop.

"Knights make L shapes," she said. "Like this." She traced Alex's possible moves with a finger.

"What did you do to her?" Lasa asked, awed.

Monica shrugged. "What kind of food did you bring?"

"Italian. It wasn't my idea, blame Roger. He seems to think that Italian people use whips, so he's adopted a fake accent and insists on eating spaghetti."

"Ysranna," Monica said sadly when the redhead entered, carrying a bag of food, "your brother is frightening."

"Oh, I know," Ysranna said.

Roger swept theatrically into the room. "Ah, eet ees my pleasure to see you, 'demoiselle Monica."

Monica nearly choked with laughter, and had to hide her face in a pillow. "Okay, that would be a French accent," she finally managed.

"But eet ees a good French accent," Roger pouted. "Are you sure?"

"I majored in accents, dear. FORESHADOWING! Well. No. Probably not. That's French, and it's dreadful."

Quinn ate her spaghetti with a fork and a spoon, and insisted upon spreading a napkin on her lap.

"She's so tidy," Alex said, tears of joy standing in his eyes. "Maybe I should marry her instead."

Monica whacked him with a bowl. "You pedophile."

"Oh, I was joking."

Joseph nodded. "See, see? People can joke about that, Zac."

Zacharias smiled brightly. "Oh, I know. Never call me Zac, love."

"Augh! Why, oh why did I ever have to meet him? He is the False Cow incarnate!"

"False Cow?" Ysranna asked. "Are you still worshipping cows, then?"

"Oh, no. Today I am a prophet of the Most High Frog Which Is Lord and Master."

"See, you stole that from me."

"Give me the frog idol so that I may sacrifice it to the greater glory of the Most High Frog."

"You don't sacrifice idols, you sacrifice real frogs. Ones that bleed. And you better not."

"No, no, I'm sure it's the frog idol. The False Idol of the Most High Frog, you see, must be destroyed. For glory. And, um, blessings. And all that religious stuff."

Quinn, in a move which endeared her to most of the group, chose not to ask.

* * *

The frog idol named God was cast out of the window, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth until Ysranna ran out to retrieve it. Then the only weeping came from Joseph, who had truly considered that bane of his existence to be gone. After that, Quinn granted the honor of calling her by her nickname upon Ysranna, and insisted that Joseph call her "Miss Quintessa Anne Nickel, ma'am."

The theft and kidnapping ended up in all of the papers the next day, along with a short piece about the Pacific City serial killer, who had somehow got out of Oregon and was now operating in Pacifica, California.

The decision was easily made to go to Florida, and they decided that as long as Zacharias' friend was supplying them, they would get fresh horses.

"That one?" Zacharias asked nervously.

Lasa patted the large grey gelding. "It's a very nice horse, Zac."

"Never call me Zac. It's kind of...big, isn't it?"

"Not that big. Bigger than the mare you had before."

"But it's all...high up 'n' stuff."

"For heaven's sake, Zac, just buy the horse!"

"Never call me Zac. I want a smaller one."

"Don't you get tired of telling me not to call you Zac?"

"Don't you get tired of calling me Zac?"

"No."

"Then...no."

Lasa tapped her foot angrily on the floor. "It's a perfectly good horse. We have to go. Buy it."

"I will not."

He remained steadfast, and ended up with a smaller mare. Lasa chose the gelding he had rejected for Monica, who would be sharing it with Quinn.

They set out on January 1, the motherboard tucked safely in a pair of spare socks.

"Happy birthday, Las," Erion said softly.

"Oh, yeah. Happy birthday," Joseph added.

Quinn, who had been falling asleep while riding, perked up. "It's Lasa's birthday?"

"Yeah," Joseph said.

Quinn stared at him.

"Yes, it is, Miss Quintessa Anne Nickel, ma'am."

She smiled happily.

It was a few hours more before Lasa's brothers remembered to wish her a happy birthday.

"It's your birthday?" Zacharias asked, guiding his horse so that it was next to hers. His head was at a level with her stomach, since he had taken a smaller horse. A much, much, much smaller horse. Shoulder height is more realistic than stomache.

She sighed. "For the last time, yes."

The others were all riding ahead of them by now, though every so often Alex would glance back to make sure that Zacharias wasn't molesting his sister.

"I didn't get you a present," Zacharias said sadly.

"I don't need presents."

"No, I'll get you one. I have a little money left."

"Really, Zacharias, I don't particularly like - "

He stood up in his stirrups and brushed his lips against hers, then sank back down again, looking satisfied.

"It's nicer when you're not drunk," he told her.

Lasa made a faint noise.

"You don't remember that night."

"Muh."

"It's okay. I stole your shoe, you kissed me, I freaked out, you got caught, and I rescued you. Shortly thereafter, you passed out. Now you know, and that's all the present you're getting."

"Eh," Lasa mumbled.

"Your brother is going to kill me. I figured it wouldn't help to take the secret to the grave."

"Aaah..."

He smiled then, the first true smile she'd seen on him in awhile, and began to hum a Christmas song.

Lasa found her voice. "I...I mean...you..."

"Your hair," he said, "looks like a bush. You need to cut it."

"You," Lasa said, fervor threading its way into her voice, "are an utter, utter...confusing entity."

"I try."