Chapter 9

They had determined before separating that the three groups would meet in Eau Claire, Wisconsin at the beginning of June. When Joseph and Ysranna arrived, they found the hotel easily enough, but none of their companions were there.

"Honestly," Ysranna muttered, after checking in. "I'm running out of money, here. We need people with actual income."

Joseph picked up the key to his room. "You'd think Lasa's brothers would be here, at least."

"Well, they have Quinn," Ysranna reminded him. "She might have been recognized. That's why she didn't go with us, remember?"

"Of course I do. Anyway, you don't think any of them have been caught, do you?"

"Oh, I hope not. Really, though, how much safer could they be? They're not doing anything out of the ordinary, and Lasa - well, she's got Zacharias with her."

"I hate him," Joseph said immediately. "I hate that arrogant, stubborn, deceitful, selfish ba - "

"Speak of the devil," Zacharias said from behind him, sounding amused.

Joseph yelped and spun around. "Don't you sneak up on me, you - you spy!"

Lasa pushed past the Codebreaker and threw her arms around Joseph's neck. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here safe!" she cried. "Have you been here long? We're a bit late, but..."

Joseph blushed and attempted to disentangle himself from his friend. "Er, we just got here a few minutes ago, actually..."

"We might have been here yesterday," Roger said, "but Lasa got into a fight with Zacharias about something. They won't tell us what."

Lasa finally stepped back and flashed a smile at Joseph. "It's okay now. I'm not mad anymore. Well, okay, I am, but - well - "

"You cut your hair," Joseph said in disbelief. He'd never known her to get a haircut. It looked - well, very pretty. She'd never been able to properly brush her hair before, so it had been tangled and usually pulled back into a messy ponytail. It was short now, and straight, and framed her face. "It's...it's very nice."

"Zacharias cut it for me," Lasa said brightly. "Before I got mad at him, that is. Months ago. It's part of our disguise."

Joseph looked over the others. "I see no disguise." His eyes lingered on Zacharias for a moment. The blond spy had grown bored and was leaning on the counter, chatting up the woman on duty.

Something's not right there, Joseph thought, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what was wrong.

"Well, that's because the rest of the disguise was dreadful," Erion said.

Zacharias rolled his eyes. "I don't care what you say, mi amigo. You'd make a pretty good drag queen. Of course, it wouldn't work here, but while we were in Santa Fe it might have - "

"In your absence," Erion continued, ignoring the blond, "he has chosen to make fun of me."

Joseph patted Erion on the head. "You're doing an excellent job ignoring him."

"No one's spoken to me in three days," Zacharias whined.

"I wonder why," Ysranna said dryly. "Could it be because you have nothing constructive to say?"

Zacharias pushed himself away from the counter and smiled charmingly. "You look ravishing today, Miss Moran. I cannot stay here much longer, for your beauty pierces my very soul and I fear I shall weep from desire if I do not go once again into the mundane world."

Ysranna shook her head, grinning. "You're pathetic."

"I know, darling. I really do know." He bowed, and his eyes flickered over to Lasa. "I am neglecting you, my dear. Dreadfully sorry. Your eyes are like blue fire, and - "

Lasa struggled not to laugh. "Stop it, Zac."

"You stop it, Miss Taylor."

"Oh, so you're calling me that, now?"

"Never call me Zac, Lasa dearest."

The blond turned, took his room key from the clerk, and swept off.

"He hasn't changed a bit, has he?" Ysranna asked finally.

"Not even a little," Roger told his sister.

"Dammit," Joseph said suddenly. "That manipulative rat."

The others turned to the priest in confusion.

"Don't you see? He got us to talk to him."

* * *

Zacharias knocked on Lasa's door shortly after noon. She opened it warily, and he easily pushed it open and walked past her.

"We need to talk," he said simply, and sat down on her bed. "Alone."

Lasa jerked her head in the direction of the bathroom. "Izzy's taking a shower. You want to go somewhere more private?"

"This is all right."

Lasa, despite deep foreboding, went to sit beside him. "What do we need to talk about?"

"Us. Together."

"We're not together."

"Exactly my point. Or, hang on, it's exactly not my point. Right."

He wouldn't look at her, and instead stared determinedly at the wall, as if it held all the answers to his questions.

"Sure." Lasa gently flicked a stray tendril of blond hair away from his forehead - because it was annoying her, not for any other reason - and continued, "You like me, I know you do. You flirt with everyone, regardless of age, gender, or orientation, but you never even try to touch them. You kiss me."

He shrugged and moved away from her. "Yes. Right." He was silent for a moment, then said, "We can't be together, Lasa, we can't. I'm a spy, like it or not, and you - you're a heroine. I'd betray you, in the end - you know I would. And you'd hate me."

"You won't betray us, and I could never hate you." It was out before she could consider it, and she was startled to discover that it was true. "I just - I couldn't."

"You could," he said, and his voice held a weary knowledge. "You could, and you would. You'd never settle for having only half of me - and you can't have all of me. If it went wrong - and it would go wrong, for any of a number of reasons you won't understand - you wouldn't be content to let me go. That's your flaw - you don't know how to let go. And sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes you have to forget, and people like you - you can't forget." Can't think of any examples that Lasa can't let go.

She stared down at her hands, then looked up at him. His eyes were dark with emotion, unreadable as always. "Did you just come here to tell me why we can't be together? Even though we are not, and were not planning to be, together?"

"Got it in one."

"What are you planning?"

"Can't tell you."

It probably wasn't the best thing to say, but she said it anyway. "So, do you love me at all?"

He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Hmm. I kind of love you."

"Kind of?" she cried. "You - I - I hate you."

"That would be the point of this conversation, yes."

Lasa bit her lip to keep from screaming at him, and snarled, "You're wrong."

"About what?"

"I can forget you." She raised her hand to his face, positioning it to make it clear that a slap was a definite possibility in the future.

Then he looked at her, and pushed her hand away in a movement that might have seemed random if it hadn't been for the malicious light glowing in his eyes. He stood and walked to the door, pausing to throw back one final challenge, along with a cold smirk.

"Try."

Then he was gone, and Lasa never even considered the fact that it was the last time she would see him smile - though, to be fair, she wasn't aware of it then.

Ysranna emerged a moment later, wearing a robe and towel-drying her hair. "Did you two just break up?"

"I think we did," Lasa said. "Though that begs the question, were we ever together in the first place?" No. They already said that. Several times.

* * *

Joseph grabbed Zacharias' arm as soon as the blond emerged from the stairwell.

"We need to talk."

"Dammit," Zacharias said wearily. "I hate conversations." He just had one. And it was his idea.

"Let's go for a walk."

"A walk. Just great. Remind me to kill you when I get the energy."

Joseph fell easily into step with the blond, and they ambled down random streets. There didn't seem to be many people about, though that was probably the result of its being only two days after Separation, and most people were still returning from Madison - or being sent off to places they didn't want to go, to do things they'd never dreamed of doing.

Since Zacharias didn't seem inclined to speak, Joseph took the time of silence to scrutinize the shorter boy. He idly noted how very pale Zacharias was, the dark bruise-blue circles under his red-rimmed eyes, the way his hair hadn't been combed.

He'd seen that look before, somewhere.

Oh, right. Every September, the Senior Journeymen walked around in a daze, mumbling Bible verses to themselves. None of them slept for weeks before the ordination exams, because you could only take them once, and if you failed then you had to be an acolyte forever. Every moment not spent teaching was spent in study.

That look - the look of someone who hadn't slept in awhile, and was just beginning to enter that dreamlike state where one eventually just collapsed.

The way Zacharias never just stood anywhere anymore - he was always leaning on something, like he couldn't hold himself up.

And those eyes, usually so bright and free and calculating, now dark and dim, containing only exhausted resignation.

That's what's wrong.

Joseph stopped abruptly, and reached out to grab Zacharias' arm. "You're dying," he said, "and I want to know why."

Zacharias opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment an arrow whizzed through the space where he would have been if they hadn't stopped.

* * *

"I still think we should have gone to Canada," Quinn said sulkily. "I have relatives there."

"There is no possible way we could have got out of the country," Shem pointed out. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Okay, right. But that doesn't mean I wanted to hang around in North Carolina for six months." She doesn't sound like she used to anymore...

"You loved every minute of it," Dorian said, laughing. "Don't deny it."

Alex looked over his shoulder at the procession they trailed behind them, and sighed. "And they call this inconspicuous," he told Monica.

Despite all protests to the contrary, most of them from the ever-practical Alex, when the time came to think about going to Eau Claire, the entire population of Lasa's house turned out to accompany them.

"We should have spring transfers anyway," one of the apprentices had whined. "It's not fair they do it every other year and we got left out. It's just - it's not fair."

And then, of course, the three adults had agreed enthusiastically. "Change of weather would do us good," Rebekah had said.

Monica sighed, and reached out unsteadily to pat Alex on the shoulder. "Cheer up, dear. Hopefully by now your sister has a plan, and we can get on with saving the country and be married by the end of the year."

"Thought we weren't talking about that." He grinned at her, and leaned over to kiss her.

Quinn raised her voice to be heard over the chattering apprentices. "But I really wanted to go. Come on, let's at least stop in Ohio - I could enjoy Ohio. They've got an amusement park, you know. Only one of its kind."

"We're not going to an amusement park."

Alex cackled evilly. "Having fun, brother dearest?"

"I hate you," Shem moaned. "I didn't ask to ride with her, you know..."

"You as good as. I mean, come on, how much time did we waste with the squirrel/chipmunk disagreement?"

"I'm sorry, but they are competing in a conspiracy to take over the world. Only reason they haven't is - "

"And how much time was spent on that tour of the cheese factory?"

"When Separation is abolished, we're all going to take up cheesemaking, right, kids?"

Eight resounding "yesses" from the apprentices met this.

Alex sighed. "And this is my life," he muttered. Raising his voice, he shouted, "Mr. X, have you got any of that beer left?"

* * *

"Duck," Zacharias cried, and dragged Joseph across the street and into a restaurant.

Joseph, who had been unconscious for most of the time on the island, stared in wonder at the suddenly alert Codebreaker. "They really are trying to kill you."

The few diners looked up, and wisely chose not to pay any attention to the wild-eyed boys.

Zacharias peered out the door. "It's Jen," he muttered. "Only person in the world who actually uses a longbow."

"Jen? Who's Jen?"

"Pray you never have to find out."

"I'm an atheist, you know. I don't pray."

The blond turned and gave Joseph an appraising look. "Huh. Could've fooled me."

"What?"

Zacharias returned to watching the streets. "Time to figure out how smart she thinks I am. Do we take the back door, or go out the front?"

"What did you mean by that?"

Zacharias drew his gun and carefully opened the door. "What did you mean by what you said before?"

"I asked you first." Uh. Confusion!

"Let's talk about this later. Run."

Because he had nothing else to do, Joseph followed Zacharias down the sidewalk I'm thinking something like "at a run" would be appropriate here to keep the action moving; however, that's a crappy phrase, so, um, try to think of something better. Almost immediately, another arrow zinged past.

"That was a warning," the Codebreaker noted. "She can't hit us from that position. Won't be long before she gets down on the streets, though, and then we're dead. Wait here."

Joseph had no intention of waiting, and walked rapidly after the blond. "I am an atheist, you know that perfectly - "

Zacharias stopped, stared into an alley, and grabbed Joseph's arm. "Other way. Fast as you can."

"No one ever tells me anything!" Joseph cried, but obediently turned and began to run.

"Well, you remember Pacific City? And the killer?"

"How could I forget?" Joseph stumbled as a thought struck him. "You don't mean - ?"

"That's right." But she was in London? And Zac said it was Jen, but it's obviously not, later they say "them"...

At that moment, an idly patrolling peaceman stepped out of the shadows and caught hold of their arms.

"Whoa, where are you kids off to in such a hurry?"

"Eek," Joseph said intelligently.

Unfortunately, this was one of those peacemen who think that any teenagers out on the street alone are up to no good. "I think we'd better see what you're running from," he boomed, and began marching in the direction they'd just come from.

Joseph turned his head to stare at Zacharias, and tried very hard to convey with his eyes, 'They won't shoot at us if we're with a peaceman, will they?'

Zacharias was not very adept at talking with his eyes, and the reply he gave was either, 'God, I hope not,' or 'Let's move to Alaska.' Joseph sincerely hoped it was the former.

The peaceman, upon looking into the alley, whistled sharply and went pale. "I'm going to have to take you boys in for questioning," he said severely.

"We're not murderers," Joseph cried. "How can you think we'd do that? We're only seventeen, Ra-damn-it!" Joseph ought to seem more surprised that there's a dead body in there, as he didn't know it before.

The peaceman refused to answer them, and intoned, "You have the right to remain silent..."

Zacharias stared at his companion in disbelief. "Ra-damn-it?"

"Yes, Ra, the Egyptian sun-god."

"You see, this might be why I have difficulty believing that you are an atheist."

* * *

The process of being "detained for questioning" took nearly three hours. First, the peaceman handcuffed Joseph to an exposed pipe, and then handcuffed Zacharias to Joseph, thus ensuring that they couldn't get away. He proceeded to rope off the area, blocked off traffic on the surrounding streets (though there wasn't much, anyway) and conducted a crime-scene investigation. Eventually, another peaceman showed up and dragged the boys off to the Justice Guildhall.

"Sorry 'bout this," he said, leading them into a cell. "Anyone with any sense can tell you didn't do it, but it's the law."

"How long will we have to stay here?" Joseph asked.

"Overnight, at least. We've got to interrogate you, and our lie detector is broken."

For some reason, Zacharias looked quite amused.

As the peaceman walked off, Joseph slumped onto one of two army cots. "Of course we didn't do it! Morons..."

Zacharias sighed. "Look on the positive side. At least people are no longer trying to kill us."

"Us? Us? There is no 'us,' Zacharias, there is just you, and the people who want you dead. All right? I'm just here until you get us out."

"What makes you think I can?" Zacharias sauntered over to the other cot and collapsed on it. "I'm not in the habit of carrying lockpicks around all the time."

"Well, you should be!"

Silence invaded the cell. After a few minutes, Joseph leaned over and poked Zacharias. When this failed to merit a reaction, the priest whispered loudly, "Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Oh. Were you trying to be asleep?"

"No."

"Oh. Good."

"I was attempting to come up with a plan."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It wasn't working."

"Oh. That's...not good."

Zacharias sighed and sat up, running his hand through his hair. "Well, as long as we have nothing better to do, let's go back to the what-the-hell-do-you-mean-by-that conversation."

"Okay. You said I'm not an atheist. What's that supposed to mean?"

Zacharias did not immediately answer, but instead stood up and began inspecting the cell. Aside from the cots, it was completely empty. "Obviously not meant for long stays," he said thoughtfully. "So they are intending to let us go after a bit. Oh, hey, we don't even have a window...sorry, sorry. Atheism. Well." He sat down again, but this time crossed his legs and leaned against the wall. "Atheists don't believe in any god. You know that."

"Of course."

"But you believe in something. I don't know what yet, but you do."

"I do not!" Joseph yelped. "Belief is - "

" - something you can't live without." Zacharias smirked upon seeing the confused look he'd brought to the priest's face. "There are people who don't believe in anything, sure enough. But those are the ones who are the most religious. Because when you don't have anything...that's when you need something the most. No atheist I know runs around saying 'Ra-damn-it.'"

"I am making fun of - "

"No, you aren't. You're trying to believe, and convincing yourself that you don't. It's a dangerous thing to do. You'll go mad."

"I'm not crazy!"

There was something thoughtful in Zacharias's eyes. "No. You're not."

Joseph glared at the wall, aware of that scrutinizing gaze. What Zacharias said didn't make sense - and yet somehow, it did.

"Your turn," the blond said. "You said that I'm dying. Why?"

With an effort, Joseph returned to the conversation. "You can only take the ordination exams once," he said. "And when the seniors are studying, they look like you do - burned out, tired, on the edge of collapse. But you know you're going to die - I can see it in your eyes."

"Ah." Zacharias bit his lip. "Well, that means you've noticed more than anyone else."

Joseph coughed nervously and turned his head to look at the cell door. "Don't you care?"

"Look, I've been slated for an early death since I was born. Spies don't generally survive to die a natural death. I'd rather die of stress than be hung."

Those words just didn't work, though it took Joseph a moment to figure out why. "Hung? They're trying to shoot you."

"Are you crazy?" Zacharias asked. "You don't shoot traitors. You hang them."

"Why?"

"You hang them," Zacharias repeated, staring off into space. "And then you burn their city and murder their family." He shook his head. "Sorry, what? Oh, right. Me, dying. Examophobia."

"That was an example."

"I know. And I have a plan."

"So talking to you does, in fact, have good consequences?"

Zacharias ignored Joseph and continued, "We pick the lock with...a cotton ball."

"Is that even possible?"

"No. And we don't have a cotton ball. Thus the plan is flawed." Zacharias sighed. "At least they'll be using a lie detector."

"Yes, they'll have to believe us that we didn't do anything."

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence; then Zacharias said, apropos of nothing, "I always thought it would be interesting to fake my own death and move to Alaska."

Joseph blinked. "Alaska?"

"Yes. It's isolated and no one would ever see it coming."

"But it's cold. I know, I have relatives up there."

"Really?"

"Yes. Ryan and Emily Baker."

Zacharias jumped up. "Hey, I know them!"

A few minutes later, a peaceman came to retrieve the two prisoners and found them jumping on one of the cots, shouting excitedly at each other.

"What's going on here?"

The blond immediately leapt off of the bed and came to the door. "His cousin's best friend knows someone I work with."

"Er..."

The dark-haired boy followed a bit slower. "We're going to run away to Alaska," he said brightly.

"First you have to pass the lie detector test," the peaceman said, a bit wary. Everyone was guilty of something, so most people, when faced with a lie detector test, were either panicked or subdued, not irritatingly happy.

"Should be fun," the blond said. "Well, unlock the door, won't you?"

* * *

In retrospect, it might not have been the best idea to try combing her hair before brushing it. However, the damage had been done, and Lasa was currently fussing over the bandage on Roger's cheek and hoping that he had insisted on the eyepatch just for show.

"I'm so sorry," she moaned.

"Not your fault," he said. "It was that comb thing."

"I know. Those things are advertised as unbreakable. We should sue someone." He glared at her with his good eye and she quickly added, "As soon as we're no longer wanted people."

"Your hair could break anything." Roger pushed her hand gently away. "But, seriously...why a metal comb? It's made you all...staticky."

Lasa was well aware that she looked like an enraged cat. "It was the only one we had. The brush is lost."

Someone knocked on the door, and Lasa reluctantly abandoned her patient to answer it.

Erion stood there, tears shining in his dark eyes. "Las. I - it - it's Joseph and Zacharias."

"What?" she asked, chills rushing down her spine. "What happened?"

"Well, Joseph just got back. But Zac - and - you have to come downstairs right now, it doesn't look at all good..."

Joseph was sitting on a chair in the lobby, shivering and staring blankly at the fire. Ysranna perched on the arm of the chair, gently stroking his hair with her fingers. She glanced up as the other three arrived.

"Roger, what happened to your eye?"

"Lasa broke a comb," her brother replied. "What happened?"

Lasa and Erion ignored this exchange, and went to hover near their friend. Joseph looked up at them, his eyes registering nothing but a deep shock.

"He's dead, he's dead, he's dead," the priest moaned hollowly.

Though she was almost certain she didn't believe this, Lasa felt the world spin in a feeling much akin to being very, very drunk. "Are you sure?" she asked desperately.

"He's dead, oh God, he's dead...she killed him...it's all my fault..." You are fond of cliffhangers.